Before I started my business, I worked in marketing for about 10 years. And while I loved learning about how telling stories helped people connect with brands and businesses and how great companies built communities instead of just customers, I often struggled with some of the strategies and tactics that some marketers taught. For example, sometimes there's only one more pair of shoes left for you to buy, but other times, there is a whole warehouse full of them you're about to pay way too much for. Fabricated urgency and scarcity are rampant in the marketing world, and I've always felt creeped out by it.
With the rise of social media, and now AI, these questionable practices are everywhere. While great marketing agencies use tried-and-true (emphasis on true) practices, much of what is being put in front of founders and teams of one like me minimizes honesty and customer connection, all in service of a manipulative system disguised as real marketing. How can you tell the difference? Real marketing still seeks to connect you with your customer. What we, as small business owners, are being sold are strategies that connect, and I use that term loosely, bots to bots.
In my last marketing role, my focus was building relationships with customers and potential customers. I never had to “sell” them anything. My job was to listen to the issues they were facing, understand their needs, and see how the company's products and services could support them. As a marketing team, we took what we learned from customers and prospects and worked to develop new tools, teach different use cases and strategies, and build on our customer experience efforts so customers always felt seen, heard, and noticed.
This marketing concept is basic: Who do you want to serve? What do they need/want? Build/Create/Develop that thing. Tell them about what you have and how it can help them. Stay connected with them to understand and learn. Then repeat.
But now everything seems to be turning upside down. Knowing your customer and connecting with them used to be the start of the entire process. Sometimes, especially with care tech founders and other small businesses, this is easy because we are usually building something we needed at some point, but that still doesn’t mean we don’t listen to others. Brand Community didn’t used to be a “marketing strategy”; it used to be organic customer-led groups who loved a product or service. As these customer communities became more prevalent, the marketing industry took notice, and by the late ‘90s it was a full-fledged marketing strategy. Yet even in this phase, we understood that connecting with and listening to customers was the point. We wanted to please our customers to the point that they wanted to be super fans. We connected with them, we celebrated with them, we rewarded their loyalty; the strategy was there, but it was still connected to the people.
With the rise of social media, we saw online communities pop up based on life stages, hobbies and interests, and even products and services people loved using. Companies like the ones I worked with could connect with customers and potential customers to better understand them and, in turn, provide better services and products.
This is the type of marketing that makes sense to me. It is also why I loved social media so much when I first started working in the digital marketing space. I love the way social media has, at least in the past, connected people like me, connecting with those in recovery and later family caregivers, and myriad other online communities of people that have encouraged, supported, and been a safe space for people for whom in-person connections and conversations were difficult. But something has happened, both in the marketing space and in many of the online communities, including those that I am a part of.
In my experience, as a caregiver and someone who works with caregivers, the single most important factor in caregivers' adoption of care tech is trust. Everything hinges on that. Trust is so vital with caregivers because frequently, they already distrust many aspects of healthcare and even their own ability to give care.
Enter the “attention economy.” Grabbing someone’s attention is not inherently bad. That is how communication works. But the attention economy is different: through the platforms, it manipulates intentions by what is placed in front of people. People don’t get content shown to them based on what they actually want, but based on how they’ve responded to what they’ve been fed (it is called ‘feed’ after all). That action points us toward certain interests (in my opinion).
It is not enough for a company to just talk to their customers any more, to tell them that we have something that could help them, and how they can buy it. Businesses now have to “feed the algorithm” what it wants so that it will show their content to potential customers. Companies are just trying to sell their products or services, and they are told this is the game they have to play. While most marketing agencies try their best to work within the system, some are opportunists who exploit both the business and the consumer. And some of the marketing companies are hopping into this market of overwhelmed founders and early-stage teams who often have no marketing person to say, “Create 30 days of content in 30 minutes using AI!” So, in other words, use robot 1 to make robot 2 do the thing. Let the AI write your script and use the right “hooks” to “grab the attention”...but because the AI is writing these hooks, they start to sound all the same. Here are some of my current faves:
“Nobody tells you this but…” “Don’t make this #1 mistake” “The hardest thing about [caregiving] is” “No one talks about this…”
Yes, “hooks” are good. As a former English teacher, I taught many 8th graders about the “attention grabber” or hook at the beginning of their essays. But the line between a hook and manipulation is intent: a hook stops being communication when you are trying to shock, scare, or induce guilt instead of spark interest. This is especially true when marketing to caregivers who already carry around massive amounts of guilt. The one I see the most in this space is “the number one mistake…” This one is complicated in the caregiving space because it is hard to quantify. Number one according to whom? A caregiver who reads it either is making the mistake, isn't sure, or didn't know it was a mistake and is now stressed about another one. I learned my lesson about this one and do not say "number one mistake" without research to back it.
And to my fellow founders and small business owners, I get it. I have paid thousands of dollars for marketing experts, webinars, and courses. I learned some good things, but I always felt I was trying to fit myself into something that didn't feel right. I cannot tell you how many templates I have with fill-in-the-blank hooks and caption formulas. Formulas aren't always bad, but what I am often talking about is more complicated than ABC 123. What I wish had been the focus is that shortcuts and formulas for creating a bunch of content run the risk of becoming inauthentic for you and your audience. And as AI continues to create doubt about almost everything we see online, truth and human-created connections will stand out most. Much like “community,” “trust” cannot become just another marketing word. You cannot, despite what some may think, fabricate truth or trust.
What's at stake for caregivers
My real concern with using questionable marketing tactics in care tech is that caregivers are vulnerable. Choosing tools and resources has real consequences. The urgency is real: keeping their loved ones safe and healthy. Caregivers do not need fake urgency. Furthermore, when caregivers are on social media, they are usually exhausted and trying to check out for just a few minutes before crashing into bed. Content that promises the unrealistic, like “peace of mind,” “no more worrying about your loved one,” or uses scarcity, like “only one more at this price” or “get it now before it runs out,” amps up the stress levels caregivers are so desperately trying to relieve. That is not marketing. That is manipulation.
Early research suggests that problematic screen use can reduce cognitive function.1 While these studies are primarily done on young people, my inference is that adults, especially exhausted and overwhelmed ones, might also be affected. This means that making a purchasing decision, or feeling like one has to, is potentially problematic.
Caregivers need a company they can trust to provide a tool or service that makes things easier without making them, or their loved ones, more vulnerable. Marketing that is too slick or says "we figured it all out," without acknowledging that caregiving is individual with many variables and can't be solved by one service or tool, breaks trust. And that’s not all. Poor customer support after sign-up breaks trust. Not understanding what is happening with their information or their loved one's information, and getting the runaround when they ask, erodes trust. Using "trust" as a marketing term to shortcut the effort of building trust is a trust killer. You can't just say "you can trust us." You have to spend the time and effort to build it.
I recently watched a video where the creator talked about how to spot AI writing, or at least what AI writing he's encountered contains. He mentioned several things, but the one that jumped out at me most was the idea that human writing contains “hedging,” whereas AI pieces use less hedging language. Humans tend to share nuance or caveats, whereas an AI tool uses much more confident and concrete language. Personally, I like the freedom to ask questions without concrete answers, keep nuance, and leave things open for conversation. This is the opposite of formulas and templates that assume every post needs a confident answer.
But I also understand trying to run a business and market said business to an audience. Here’s how I have handled this. I clarify where I have expertise, namely understanding caregiver guilt and stress as well as how to use newer technology tools, and where I don’t have expertise: medical, insurance, or financial advice. I say things like, "I am an expert in how to care for my mother, but not yours, " and help people understand they are capable of making good choices and can trust those choices. That is what I teach my clients. I can’t tell you the best tech tool for your situation, but I can show you how to choose one for your family with confidence.
So how do we build credibility? Short answer: by being credible. What does that look like? Show your work: how your tool is built as well as how it can help. Be clear about what the product or service you provide does and doesn't do, and understand the caregiver's struggle in the area you are trying to relieve. You can only do that by connecting with them and listening. Not “social listening” as a strategy, but actually come close, take time, and listen.
Admittedly, this doesn’t immediately solve the problem of getting our content seen on social media, though I strongly believe that the more human we make our content, the more we will stand out. But in the meantime, how can businesses use social media without becoming just another cog in the wheel or brick in the wall, for my fellow Gen Xers?
The good news? The basic principles of ethical marketing still apply, but with platforms holding everyone hostage, businesses have to be more diligent. For each main principle (honesty/truthfulness, transparency (including consumer privacy), and explicit consent), human dignity becomes even more necessary. Honesty: it's not enough to "not lie." Tell the truth about how your product or service helps support the human dignity of the caregiver and the care recipient. Transparency: be clear about the information you collect, how you protect it, and why this matters to you as a business. Consent: especially with elderly and potentially cognitively declining adults, advocate for and require explicit consent. If the older adult still has cognitive ability, they have to give consent. If a caregiver says they make the decisions, they should show POA or other documentation. Both the company and caregiver have a role, but the company has to educate on the importance of care recipient consent.
And let’s get back to writing for people, not for the algorithm. When you are recording or writing a caption, talk as if you are speaking to a specific person you know in your target audience. What do you want them to understand about you, your work, and about themselves? Remember, a caption that can't connect with the audience signals that you don't know your audience, haven't done enough market research, or can't relate. Posts build trust by demonstrating trustworthy actions and behaviors. Social media reinforces relationships; it doesn't create them. My last two paid opportunities came from real relationships built over time, and my social presence only reinforced what people had already experienced face to face.
I also think we should be engaging outside social media. I have recently begun an experiment in my local community. I am focusing more locally and have noticed more intentional connections and genuine interest in my work. Of course, not everyone has enough local clients. In that case, video calls and ongoing non-pitch conversations can work, plus local connection when appropriate. Yes, I said, non-pitch. A non-pitch call is about getting to know each other, what the person needs, and whether you can serve them. A second call is for the pitch. As I continue this experiment, I will share my takeaways at year-end.
I am not advocating or suggesting throwing out the use of AI altogether. I am hopeful we can use AI as a tool without letting it be the final determining factor in what we say or how we say it. If it is, then we have ceased to truly communicate. AI writes for AI. I would rather believe we can use our own judgment and review, edit, and refine any output AI gives us. That said, clarifying to your customers whether and how AI is used is necessary because trust matters so much for people marketing to caregivers. This doesn’t have to be a big statement. Something brief on the website or a label on AI-made graphics or video probably suffices for now. But we also need to keep evaluating as things change.
If we, as businesses, follow these things, focus on trust, and avoid just pushing out content for content’s sake, can we still make it? This is definitely an open question, but one I am not afraid to ask myself. Do we really have an alternative? Is focusing on trust enough when the only way to get attention seems to be following a formula that may not fit your voice? I am trying to opt out of the tactics myself, but still feel the pull toward the feed. The one designed to keep me scrolling, and my customers scrolling…so can I break the spell? Can I not participate in the spell-casting as a business as well? If my captions don't use the expected phrasing, will they even be seen, or is that part of the problem of feeding the algorithm?
Ultimately, can businesses participate in the attention economy on their own terms, ethically, or opt out?
When we think about marketing, we should be focused on getting a human's attention, not the algorithm's. Attention can be manipulated and bought. So what does that leave? Trust.
But we cannot start believing we are in a “trust economy” either. That commodifies trust too, and you can’t buy trust, only build it. We don't need a trust economy; we just need trust. You have a choice in how to use your words, and your words matter. But I know it doesn’t feel like there is a choice, and we need clients and bills need to be paid. I get it. I am right here with you in this. I don’t want to give up my business or even my online connections, but I also want to stop feeling like I am making content for the platforms. I want to make content that connects with people. I believe we can tell the truth about our businesses, products, and services without sacrificing trust. I believe some people might use AI tools to support their work instead of doing the work themselves. I know we are capable, as a caregiving, care tech industry, of connecting with caregivers without being pressured into saying and doing things in the name of marketing that we don't feel right doing.
Maybe you are looking at your marketing practices and don’t feel the same tension. Maybe I am just someone who got sucked in deeper than most, but it has made me think a little harder about what I put out there and why. I have always been about the caregiver, and that hasn’t changed and won’t. I hope, if you are in this space, that is your “why” too.
May we all give ourselves permission not to do things for the sake of marketing that make us feel icky, or that we are embarrassed to talk about with friends, or that we wouldn't want a customer to find out about. I think that is a great place to start.
Sources and resources
Georgetown Law Denny Center, "The Attention Economy and the Collapse of Cognitive Autonomy" (July 2025): https://www.law.georgetown.edu/denny-center/blog/the-attention-economy/
Ruwantissa Abeyratne, "The Attention Economy and Commodifying the Human Mind" (Sri Lanka Guardian, February 2025): https://slguardian.org/the-attention-economy-and-commodifying-the-human-mind/
Video: "I Can Spot AI Writing in Seconds (4 Signs That Make It Obvious)" (Turing College, February 2026): https://youtu.be/A7nguSU4pZM
